Vanity Fair: The After Party

Everyone knows that the best dresses aren't at the Oscars but at the after parties. This is due to the fact that a lot more people show up and there isn't as much pressure. Celebs wear dresses they actually like rather than what they think will impress people the most. The result: crazy amazingness!


Zoe Saldana in Marios Schwab at the Vanity Fair after party. I am so into bedazzled pockets right now.


Image c/o cocoperez
 Rashida Jones in Elie Saab.

Image c/o cocoperez
Kate Beckinsale in Atelier Versace. This is hideous. In high school I used to have a tank-top like this with all these weird cut-outs. I liked it because one cut-out was strategically placed to show my cleavage. When I say cleavage, I  mean the skin that my push-up bra smushed into my face. My mom caught me wearing it to the mall on a Sunday morning and confiscated it. I wish someone would do that for Kate.

Image c/o cocoperez
January Jones in Wes Gordon. I am glad January is wearing this as it gives me another reason to hate Betty Draper. 

Image c/o cocoperez
Lily Collins in Monique Lhullier. She kind of looks like one of these freaky porcelain dolls I had in my bedroom as a child. They scared the shit out of me. I put them in my closet, but I could still feel their presence and their anger for being stored away.

Image c/o cocoperez
Kate Beckinsale in Prabal Gurung. Oh Kate, you will never disappoint me. Also, my greatest regret in life is being born with a head that doesn't allow me to pull my hair back like this.

Image c/o cocoperez
Emma Stone in Chanel. Emma this is what I wanted you to wear to the Oscars!! Its so different and awesome. If she wore this is green to the Oscars I would have died.

Image c/o cocoperez
Selena Gomez in Dolce & Gabbana. She is just so refreshingly cute. 

Selena, please don't cheat on Beiber because he will then be forced to write a song about it, featuring a video-ho who looks just like you and who he will be rumored to have a fling with. Then you will date an array of inappropriate men such as Fred Durst and Colin Farrell. The tension between you and Beibs will culminate in a dance-off at a famous club and the floors will be littered with fedoras. You will then meet a wannabe-vanilla ice, pump out two kids and finally shave your head while talking in a British accent. I just want more for you Selena.  Well the dance off can happen, as I generally encourage spontaneous dance offs to resolve conflicts, but please nothing else!

Image c/o cocoperez
Kate Hudson in vintage Versace. Forget Angelina's leg, I would be squatting in this non-stop, so that both my legs would peep out through the fringe.

Image c/o cocoperez
Diane Kruger in Calvin Klein. I know this is inappropriate, but Pacey's girlfriend has a nice rack.

Image c/o cocoperez
Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad. I like this better then her actual Oscar dress. The colour is great.

Image c/o cocoperez
Mira Sharpova in Alexander McQueen. She looks like an extra in a high school production of A Midsummer's Night Dream.

Image c/o cocoperez
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Antonio Berardi. She could have done better.

Image c/o cocoperez
Victoria Beckham in her own design. I don't know why but where I find Lea Michelle's posing super annoying I find Victoria's very endearing.

Image c/o Go Fug Yourself
Elizabeth Olsen in Christian Dior. I want this dress so bad it hurts.